Aparigraha (Non-coveting)

It's the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly." - Henry David Thoreau

Letting go of things, physical or mental, that weigh you down is lifting up the spirit and mental ceiling of performance. Many will call this Yama "non-attachment" which can relate to our things, relationships, education, ego, love and identity. I also have heard it called "non-grasping" and in my world, I call it the "art of letting go".

If you happen to cling on to your identity as a business person, effectively, if you aren't a business person, your life will crumble. Does that sound reasonable? No.. You may change jobs, you might get a promotion to a different region of the workforce, you may get a higher degree and therefore receive a promotion. These are all things in our world that can change in a moments notice. Just because your job changes doesn’t make you less of a business person and it doesn’t change your identity. The Yamas are how to adapt to the world around you so that the spirit and the "inner" never falter or fall. The ego thrives on grasping and holding on to something so when you go through an identify crisis, just think that it will be painful and it will come with huge resistance. The mind feels what it wants to perceive and believe.

In the future, you may change lovers you may relocate, you could go through an identity crisis, but you, your inner being, will not change. When we grasp on to things that define us, we restrict our growth to the definition we have created. Why not live life undefined and let growth take its path..? There is a quote about “What is destined for you will make its way to you in time” or another one about love lost. “Let them go, if they return it was meant to be.” These two quotes are rooted deep within the theme of Aparigraha. If you spend the time working on loosening the grip to the things that "define you", then you will remain unscathed no matter what happens to your outer world.

On the mat, Aparigraha is seen in the deeper yin poses. Yin Yoga is a stye of yoga that holds deep stretches on the floor for anywhere between 5-10 minutes. About 2-3 minutes into a Yin pose, there is a moment when the muscles relax and give in to the pose. This is the letting go, the release of grip and clinging. This is the surrendering to gravity or the pressure that helps joint spaces or synovial capsules to open up to improve flexibility. Also, in my classes specifically, I cue a breathing mantra of “Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.” The part of Aparigraha here is the “move on” part. Not yearning for the past and jumping out of the present moment.

Off the mat, Aparigraha can be seen in donating old or never worn clothing to a shelter or donation site. Letting go of the things that don't serve you anymore. Simplifying your living space has been a big trend since Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up book came out and that is based in Aparigraha and Saucha. If you cling on to things that "define you," this implies that if you don't have them, you will be less of yourself.

As far as families are concerned, it's very common for us to hear phrases like "I am Dr. Smith's daughter," or "I am Leslie's husband". Yoga would say that no, in fact you aren't. You are an individual not defined by your partners, children, job, years of education or anything of these self identification models. The reason being, if you didn't have that which you are identified by, would you be less of a spirit and soul? That answer is always, NO. This is why when in relationships is imperative that you don't grip or cling to the relationship so tightly that you loose yourself, your spirit and your identity. When this happens, grieving what you lost isn't just is losing a spouse, it's also buried under losing yourself, however many years. ago. This leads into an identity crisis because the widower doesn't know who he is without his wife anymore, and even worse, doesn't know how to operate independently.

I think Aparigraha is my growing edge of the Yamas, I enjoy learning about it and as much as I want to simplify, purge and have zero attachments to the things I am surrounded by, I can't break that. This is rooted in Samskaras, or memories, which are obstacles that prevent me (us) from that energetic release.

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